I have been in my current job for just over 3 years. This is the longest regular employer that I have had since my days at Wendy’s. During my years in the arts, goodbyes were so regular that I never felt those pangs of missing that I am starting to feel now. Also the arts community in Adelaide was so small, you regularly bumped in or caught up with those people that you were missing. Also the hours were so long that the people you really ended up missing were the people at home, and your friends in their “regular” jobs.
I have been with my current employer since their beginning, since we worked out of a small shoe box office with 8 desks and 8 constantly ringing phones. The job came to me in a time of need from my dear friend, who said “work with me”. After the sudden bankruptcy of Urban Myth, I had no future projects line up for the year and going back to retail or hospitality was unappealing, so it was perfect timing. I worked with all my friends. With my family. With my work family. Through the growth, my position evolved, I was able to use parts of my business degree, I was able to look for myself at what I wanted in a career and challenge myself. I was trusted and relied on and needed and I loved that! However with growth, not everything can stay the same and what I will call “internal issues”, would get me down, because I cared so intensely about what I did and who I worked with and what we had initially built. Saying goodbye at this point is bittersweet. Those “internal issues” are not fully resolved, but they are working on them. I know when I come back that the company will look different again. They are going through such a transformation that I envy those that will be part of it. It’s another thing that I will miss out while I am away.
Our Wedding was a farewell of sorts, people said Bon Voyage and wished us well. But we are still frantically getting in our goodbyes, in what remaining days we have left here. It seems silly to only now be catching up for dinner (why not months ago?) with your friends and then feeling all sad that your not going to get to do it again for ages. We are missing out on the wedding of our first friends to get married.
We have been living with Joe’s parent for the last month. It has be an experience that I haven’t had since I was 19, living with parents and siblings, being part of the family dynamic 24/7. It has been exhausting and loving and emotional and the right thing to do before we go away. We go to my Appa’s house once a week for dinner and I usually go hang out there for few hours on the weekend and chill with the doggos and my brothers. The first part our trip will be 10 days in Singapore with my brothers and Appa, his first trip there for 9 years. We had a goodbye dinner last week with Joe’s Aunties and Uncles and Nanny. We are going to Canberra on Sunday to say farewell to Nanny Marg. Then back and goodbye to Mum and Grandma and Grandpa. Whoa. I also miss the wedding of my cousin. Pretty bummed about that.
Leaving my beautiful little fur baby is pretty hard. She is such a sweet little creature. She is going to live with her Co-Mother. She has had a lot of adjusting to get through over the past few weeks so moving this weekend will be good for her. She will have change to settle.
First Stop Singapore. Hello Family. All of my Appa’s (dad) family is in Singapore (apart from my uncle and his family in New Zealand), so I am so excited to be able to have a reunion with them and with my Appa there too. It will be nice being closer to them for the year, knowing a couple of hours on a plane will see us in the presence of family.
We have friends that we are planning to catch up with over the next year. Friends who have moved country for work and study and friends who are going to catch up with us along the way.
The fear of missing out has left me feeling anxious and irritable the last few weeks. I have struggled to get really excited about the future, the trip, because I have been trying to process feeling an unaccountable sense of fear and futility that has been hanging around in the background. I didn’t expect to be feeling so anxious about this. I know travel anxiety is a pretty common thing but it’s never been something that I have felt in the past. It’s a long time to be away. It will be a challenge. I WILL get homesick. I know, well hope, that this all just melts away once I make to Asia.
Travelling is such a huge privilege. I know that I am in a very privileged position to have had a job which allowed me to save enough funds for this trip and to be from a country which has minimal restrictions and requirements for visas and entry into our destinations. I am lucky and blessed and I am pinching myself that I will be travelling for the next year (or until the money runs out) with my favourite person in the world!